Soul-baring

What a powerful weekend

Felt its power wash away purities, make things appear clearer.

First I stood up to a bully, my ex, in my own way, which felt good and what's even better, decided on a course of action and visit to the lawyer this coming week .

Then this visit and profound talk with this hunk of a man I love, face to face, soul to soul. Lots of soul baring, hugs, tears, truths, love, sadness, tenderness and everything in between. As is always the case with us, upon seeing him again in the physical, me feeling overwhelmed by his magnetic presence, caught into his powerful net of charm and charisma that leaves me weak in the knees ( and wanting him physically to the point of losing my grip on any other reality, except the physical one where my desire reigns supreme), and feeling like I cant possible talk about ANYTHING until I have him first and my hunger is satisfied.

Τhen, after the physical calmed down, my suppressed grievances came to the surface, as angry and painful accusations that were met with some anger too, but mostly with a calm and patient -though indignant and tired as well- listening to my venting. He only said a couple of things, whereas I kept pouring my heart, explaining myself, opening up to him even wider, my soul seeking even more profound truth, even deeper connection. Though he didn't talk much, what he said ( and his tired patience) spoke volumes to my heart, even more so after he left and I had time to process all this.

I needed this. I needed this real bad and everything feels calmer and clearer now. Ready to do my part, work on myself and dig my deepest desires and honor them in my heart, even if I cant honor them in my life (yet). Or even dismiss them, for better things to come in their place, but still acknowledge them. On the other hand, I had soul searching moments too, trying to put myself in his shoes, see his point, honor it, accept it, see how it fits or not with mine, then finally reaffirm my love and devotion to him.

I sense his love as much he senses mine. We feel each others' scars and issues. And we keep going. Sometimes tired from facing too many insurmountable obstacles, sometimes overjoyed, like most of the times, but still holding hands, both in the physical and in our heart of hearts.

Love is worth it

For as long as it's still there, it's worth everything you have and everything you don't even have, but would like to have.

Give it your all

I know we will