Made in Heaven

Some days are harder 
than others...

''I can't, I can't... just can't...
I'll get sick myself...
each time I am forced to love
 in fragments,
I am forced to cut  myself up into pieces...
my love is divided into pieces, 
then so am I...
IT'S TOO HARD, 
too fuckin' hard, 
can't do it, won't do it...
I can only love in unity,
 not in separation...


He senses it, of course.
''I have confidence in you'' he tells her.

Love...made in heaven
but forced to survive 
roaming the dirty streets of earth...
and still making it, 
still going strong,
still not just surviving,
but thriving too...

More freedom. More life.

''This string necklace is choking you'', 
he observed. 
Morning after their first night together

''Now that you mentioned it,
yeah, it kind of feels too tight.
Please cut it off'', she asked.

And he did, with a penknife
and the immediate sense of relief was enormous.

''Boy, that one really was choking me''.
she observed.

Then went on to cut off all 6 of her necklaces.
New beginnings.
More freedom.
More life.

For both of them....

If only

''If only I posted the juicy details on one of my posts...''
the mouth watering, body melting little details...''

''Don't'', he says.
''Keep them just for us''

And I shall, baby.
Keep them just for us.
But if only....

Τhis

Because for us
Christmas
will always mean
cuddles and kisses
and lovemaking
under warm blankets
by a tiny christmas tree.

and  This...

Ever since

You love women,
in a tender, totally protective way
and they sense it and love you back, my love.

Watching you interact with women live
you just listening to them
as they become bubbly and talkative
 like little girls in your presence,
I sit there by your side, half smiling,
watching your charisma unfolding in action.

And I 'm one proud, proud woman
because
you picked me first
before I picked you
and you keep picking me up ever since.....

Only Light

Holding me safely
tenderly
lovingly
while sweet music is playing in the background
filling up my reservoires of love and affection.

'' My foxy...'' he says.
And draws her even closer to him.

''This moment'', she says to herself.
''I need to hold on to this moment
when I'm at my darkest'''

Then there will only be light...

I am so lucky

Anyone can love you at your best.
But,
to be loved when she's at her darkest
when she is doing her best to push him away
means
that he really really really 
means it.
Τhat he really really really
loves her.

And that her love for him,
her unwavering love for him
is in good hands....

All warm up and happy

Dense fog hovering over the town,
giving a fairy tale quality to all things.
It's bitterly cold outside.

''I only want YOU'', he texts her.
''Tell me what you want me to do to you when I come back''...

And it's no longer cold or foggy at all
because she's all warm up and happy
and wide-eyed with eager anticipation...

Rantings

Don't get me wrong.

I love being in love.
(I bet most of you following my blogs already know that)

When I’m with someone I am in love with, someone who I feel has earned or deserves my love, someone whose mind and heart have won mine, I am sweet, inviting, tender, eager to please, cuddly and vulnerable and honest and generally a man's fantasy come true: obedient (not giving a shite how un-politically correct this sounds) and kinda submissive as well, fiercely loyal to the point of harming my own interests to support my mate, fully committed and totally faithful. I am eager to provide for all his needs, improve myself and my body so that I may be able to turn on my partner,  full of enthusiasm and optimism about the relationship. I give complete freedom to the one I love to be himself, to have his own life away from me. I support , bright-eyed, his ideas and projects with all my heart. I love taking care of him in  anyway he finds more pleasing. And it's fun cooking for him and doing all the wifey things for him. I text back right away, I dutifully call him first. And I am the master of sending him filthy pictures because it turns me on when he’s turned on.

And I LOVE sex. Lots and lots of it. With  only the person I'm in love with. I want to have it every single day. Several times a day. For the rest of our lives. I'm always up for it not only because I love sex per se but also because I love pleasuring my love, anyway he wishes. I like unashamedly holding hands in public and publicly showing my affection, by looks and kisses. I also dont give a shite whether the one I love is fat or thin or has any other physical imperfection, because to my eyes he looks like the embodiment of Prince Charming himself and I swoon with passion each time I look at him.

But I'm at a point in my life that I nolonger believe in happily ever afters simply because I know better. What is the point of believing in fairytales when, sooner or later, it is going to turn nasty or sour or be over? What is the point in investing in a person when they are sooner or later going to disappoint you or you are going to disappoint them or both of you each other?

When I realise I start feeling resentful, jealous,, worried, disappointed, or paranoid,  or any other negative feeling, I get this overwhelming feeling to hide,instead of trying to work things out. Like, why am I wasting my time worried about a man, when I could be doing my own thing, taking care of me and my own and be carefree and single to my heart's content?

I was hurt a lot in the past, like everyone else, I guess, my fair share of tears and disappointment and betrayal of the worst kind-yes, i insist , of the worst kind and I wish I could say more- happen to me, someone playing with my naivety and my thirst for love and  then leaving me heartbroken and far worse off than before. Heartache is a horrible thing, worse than death itself. It's not just mental or emotional, it's physical too. You plunge into a well of dispair and apathy where nothing matters anymore and it's just you and your pain and betrayal, wishing it to go away and not being able to.

Yes, the end of a loving relationship sucks big time. So being with someone, especially for the rest of my life,  scares the living shit out of me. I'd rather stay in the dating stage forever than fully commit or make plans or whatever

… Which isn’t working too well for me, actually, because , you see, I am so much in love right now.

But still...Some things just trigger me and then ALL I WANT IS TO RUN AND HIDE IN A CORNER before I am abused or taken advantage of, or being lied to,  cheated on or submitted to the other terrible little things that can take their toll on me. Because of my past, the bright-eyed,warm hearted, trusting and generous in all respect woman I am normally when in love,wants to hide away in a corner and never give anyone the chance to do things to me because I loved them and trusted them. At any sign of things not working out in my relationship, my first instinct is to throw the towel and exclaim ''Fuck this, I dont need any more crap in my life, I can be single and HAPPY AT LAST''. For ever. MY happily ever after with myself at last

PS: I'm not always like this, I swear, but when I do, I get it real bad...

Vanity

In my heart of hearts
in my vanity of vanities
I am ever so proud
that you chose
-and you go on choosing me-
out of all the women ,
all the women doting on you..

''You are worth it all'', he says.

And of course, 
but OF COURSE, 
I am bursting with pride!

Only for this time

''It's only for this one time, 
then it'll be over'',
she said to herself on their first date.

''Well ok, 
it's only for a few more times''
she said to herself when he came back a few days later.

''It's only 
for a few more months''
she tried to convince herself.

''What is to become of us?''
she wondered silently
as he held her tight
many many many months later.

''For life'', he had said.
''For as long as it lasts'', he had said.
Her adorable man.

''I love this man'', 
she said.

Memories of our future

Every day
you give me more reasons
to love you
even more...

As memories of our future
come flooding in....

In Heaven

''God brought us together'',
he told her.

''He opened our hearts 
so that we could accept each other's love
even though
all the odds were against us''.

She closes her eyes.
Remembers the feeling of divine trust
she felt
the first time she set eyes of him 
on their first meeting.
Or her thrill of excitement 
the first time he talked to her.
Or their first time together
her total openness
and sense of belonging.
Belonging to him.


Yes, baby,
God  brought us together.
Because such a union
is surely only made in heaven...

Relaxed

Totally relaxed,
her body more relaxed than ever
she takes a look at him,
lying on his side
and wonders
''why did life ever seemed hard
before I met you?''

Teasing

Teasing her.

Playfully, lovingly.
His way of being a child with her.
Οf making her laugh
when the joke is finally revealed.

His way of showing 
that he cares...

anything you wish for

''You are like no other woman I've ever known'',
he told her yesterday.

''You are not like other women I've known'',
he told her after their first night together.

''Why?''
''Because you are so open and so not fake 
and holding nothing back
and not trying to play a role'', 
he said.

''Ask me anything you wish for
and I'll give it to you''
he told her yesterday.

And she smiled,
because anything she could wish for,
she already had....

Him.....

Jealousy

''You going out tonight?''
she texts him on a Saturday evening.

''Yes''.

She can tell he's still a little resentful
because of what
they' ve been talking about earlier.

A familiar twinge of jealousy in her heart.
''Too far away,
too many women out there
lusting after you''....

Still brewing with resentment,
he texts back
''Yeah, why shouldn't I have a good time?''

Twinge of jealousy
becomes stinging hot pain
until..

until he texts back a short while later:
''I'm back, I'm here...''

Her thoughtful love,
not wanting her to stay unhappy
and to make up all sorts of scenarios in her mind.
Reassuring her. ''I' m here''.

Then her whole world is set to rights again
as they go on talking as usual....

Always

My thoughts are
always
ALWAYS
always with you.

Even when we're not talking or texting.

I 'm always trying hard
to be
worthy
of your precious love....

And to create what's needed
for our future together

Among a million other things

I love you

among other things, 

a million other things,

because

I see it clearly in your eyes

that you believe I'm beautiful.


And the more I see it 

reflected in your eyes

the more I believe it

 the more I become 

my most ageless

powerful,

beautiful 

and ecstatic me ever...


Then you, in turn,

can see your youthful perfection 

reflected in my eyes.


A taste of eternal life to come..

Heady

''Don't park the car this close to the edge'', 
she asks.
''I get dizzy..''

But she soon forgets 
about her fear of heights
because their lovemaking
 is by far
a much headier drug 
than heights...

Nothing like it

You give me pleasure 

not just with your body

but also through your words,

your breath,

your thoughts.

Our blended consciousness

making our union

far more intense

than physical touch.

But your touch?

There aint nothin' in the whole wide world

like your touch...

Soon

Soon I'll be in your arms again
trembling from pleasure, 
your heart,
your mind,
your dick,
your magic combined.

Oh, and your tender kisses afterwards...

All I want

To be able
to count your heartbeats
before I fall asleep.

That's all I want..

Thunder rumbling

Last day of their first-ever vacation.
Torrential rain.
flashing lightning.
Tea-lights reflected in the mirrors.

Slowly, 
sensually,
lovingly
enjoying his body
and relishing every moment of it
all night long....

Falling asleep on his stomach
and waking up in his arms
as her menstrual flow gushes forth
reminding her of her goddess-like
goddess-giving
goddess -creating
nature...

Basking

Each time he listens to her,
providing a sympathetic ear,
 giving her a mental hug
surrounding her 
with his warmth of understanding
she feels the sun coming up in her heart.


Basking in the warmth of his caring....

SO happy that you did

Yes, I am totally open 
and leave nothing on my heart 
and I bleed out onto you
all my secrets
and wishes
and cravings
 and you accept me 
so fully , 
so completely,
that I realize
only love could do this, 
could accept in this way,
 support in this way.

 And it’s so precious 
that I don’t exactly know 
why you were given to me, 
but I am just going to accept you
 completely and fully too, 
without wondering about 
why you picked me.

Just being so, SO happy that you did..

Soothing

It's been forever
since she last doubted his love
or how he feels about her
and this kind of serenity,
this feeling of being secure in his love
is so soothing 
so empowering
that she basks in it,
soaking it all in,
grateful,
appeciative.

Content...

The Power of Love

Realising
you are the first person 
I've been this close, soulwise.

Realising this is so
because you bring out the best in me
the most vulnerable,
open and sweet
version of my self.

Realising, through this,
how transformative love is.
How it makes me
the best version of myself
How it lifts me up
and because it is a source of strength
a source of solace,
helping me lift other people up as well.

How the power of love
is stronger
than anything else indeed..

Possibly

Suddenly, it seems doable.
Suddenly, we are both on the exact same page about it
Suddenly, the future feels possible

And ladden with promises of happiness ...

And yours

Looking at old and new pictures of mine

and realising

how much I am transformed

 by your love,

body and soul.

Untangling my identity from yours

seems nearly impossible to me now,

Feeling scared of the intensity of this truth, 

Feeling blissful because of the intensity of this truth,

knowing how rare it is 

to be and feel this way with someone.

Feeling blessed and humbled.

And yours...

And this is when I first felt it

Sitting in that cafe
in your part of the world 
on our first real date..

That moment 
when  I told you
 the things that were on my mind,
the burden in my heart
that I had been crazy afraid to say,
 and you just looked at me
 in the most heartbreakingly beautiful way, 
(as if I had already told you before),
a gleam of recognition of a kindred spirit
in your kind eyes,
looking at me like,
 “why was this such a big deal to tell me?”

And I felt it,
felt it going through me
the electrifying feeling:
''I'm as much in love with the real him
as with his crafted persona.....''

Those times

Those times
 when you do something
 so intimate, 
so sweet,
so adoringly thoughtful
and I'm like
''Oh my, he knows me. He really knows me. ''

Then my heart calming down a bit more,
melting a bit more, 
as you convince me,
yet again, 
that you’re not messing around with my heart,
telling me that you know me well.

Telling me that
not only you're accepting my quirks,
my perceived shortcomings,
but actually, 
dear God, how sweet is that,
actually loving them...

Spooning

Because you spooning me,`
kissing my neck and cheek
on repeat mode,
is even more bliss
than the orgasmic bliss you've just given me

Starved and Fed

I was starved for love.
Never had enough,
to fill me up,
both emotionally and physically and intellectually.
I could find one kind,
only to realise
I was dearly missing the others.

Just for once,
I needed the entire package
I wanted to know
what it feels like
to have all your needs met.

Then you came along
and fed me so much love
I couldn't take any more
( until the next time)

And not just once.
Repeatedly
For years.

Happy Fucking Anniversary,
my love.

God bless you

I'll never have enough of you

''Why can't I ever,
EVER,
have enough of you?''

You roll me over, 
breathless and with my heart bursting in my chest,
flushed and dishevelled
from too many O's,
and you're like, 
'you ok?''
and I still can't have enough of you.

We spent the entire day
cuddling in bed
we fall asleep in each other's arms,
we wake up 
and make love again
and again
and then we cuddle more
and I still can't have enough of you.

I spent the entire day of a weekend
chatting with you online
and I still can't have enough of you.

I'll never have enough of you...

My Everything

My Lover
My Child
My God in the flesh
My Love Incarnate
My very own Personal Archangel
My Passion Unquenched
My Girlhood Innocence come alive
My Neverending Dream
My Prince of Forgotten Fairytales
My Knight of a thousant Nights
My Everything

Our Love Story of the Heart...

Only you.....

''When you love a woman,
truly love her,
all other women become superfluous...''

He told her.
In those exact same words.

And let that be our reality
for ever and ever,
my baby.....

His baby

Craddling her in his arms
safely,
tenderly, 
lovingly,
kissing her cheek
again
and again,
rocking her 
like a baby.

His baby...

Dreams

They sometimes tell each other their nighttime dreams.

Dreams they had the night before
beautiful ones 
frightening ones,
then they go on 
to ponder about their meaning.

But the sweetest of sharing comes
on that rare moment
they dare
to speak of their deepest dreams....

still

Still fainting from pleasure
like the very first time....

Every time

Τears
and hiccups
and giggles
and cuddles
and joy
and staying home
and some reservations
and your smell again
and, oh my,
this overwhelming sensation
that I can never, ever
get enough of you...

And myself
being intent in my mind
on giving you
the sweetest climax ever...

Εach time, more prescious than the last...

Shelter

''Where are you'', he asks her.

''Right where I've always been'', she texts back.


''In my heart?'' he jokes.

Yes, baby, 
thank God for your heart.

My shelter of choice...

Mouth watering

My mouth keeps watering, babe.

For no apparent reason.
An amazing, juicy sensation.
Mouth in us women corresponds 
to another beautiful part of our anatomy.
As above, so below, after all.

:
Time reversal in progress.
Back into my more youthfull juiciness.
In all parts of my body.

Thanks to you,
thank you,
for setting the whole thing in motion...