First Impressions continued

''What are you doing tonight?''
a younger man is chatting her up.

She is trying to find a way 
to politely let him know she's not interested
without hurting his feelings.

''Well, my kids are waiting for me and so...''
He presses on, undaunted.
She's bored. 
He is too young and not her type anyway.

Then HE comes along.
Approaching quietly, like a tomcat.
The one she was so hoping to meet that afternoon,
the one she didnt know she was talking to at that moment.

Her first impression of him:
''What kind of eyes are those?
 Gosh....sooo sweet and tender!''
and
''Who are you? It feels like I already know you from somewhere.''

Her second thought:
''Please ask me out. 
YOU should be the one to ask me out, 
not that boring boy who's trying to chat me up.
Go ahead and ask me out, I'll say yes!''

He doesn't ask her out.
Instead, he offers to escort her
to the nearest subway station.
It's getting late.

And she asks for his number first.
Fuck convention.
She wants to have a way to keep in touch with him.

But he wasn't planning 
on leaving her alone, anyway.

He had already schemed and staged their meeting after all...
Her clever schemer of a man...

A daughter?

''I wonna have a daughter with you.
One that looks like you too''.

And her heart said 
'' How I would love this'',
even as her brain was screaming
''no way,
 no fucking way, 
 I'm so over this baby producing thing!''

Screw you, brain.
A daughter of his.
You bet she wants that. 
Yes, screw you brain
Hearts are always better councelors...

The moment she let him into her heart

She can remember the exact time 
she let him into her heart.

It wasn't on the day the actually met.
No, it was earlier

She's crying .
Easter time.
She has lit some candles.
Αt work, alone.
Everything seems to be crumbling at her feet.
And she feels so fuckin' alone,
as every human being has felt 
at one time or another in our lives.

Phone rings.
It's him.
His soothing voice.
Maybe he's just fooling around.
Maybe he trully missed her 
and wanted to catch up with her news .
Just a voice
with no face.

Then, for some reason, 
at that particular moment
she let him in.
Into her heart.
He kept banging at the door 
of her heart 
for quite some time.
She would answer politely,
but wouldn't invite him in.

On that day,
she did open the door
and welcomed him inside.

Then  all kinds of magic broke loose....

Same star sign

The joy.

The sheer joy 
of being loved by someone
whose mind works 
in the same range of frequencies,
whose heart beats
to the beat of the same drums.

So comforting
to have your thoughts almost read at times.

To be so much alike.
To be born under the same star signs.

''There's a special magic 
about the time we were both born, baby''
he tells her.

''In times gone by 
conception of people born under our sign was rare,
because it would have to happen during Lent
-the fasting period before Easter- when people had to observe fasting and abstain from sex... the church somehow knew that people born under that sign are too rebellious, weird and uncontrollable for the establishment's safety,
so they  had to stop their creation by raising religious taboos''.

Yes, she loves the way that mind of his works...

Forget humdrum about opposites atttracting each other.
See what happens 
when two people
born under the same star sign
fall in love
and set out to love each other
as only they know how....

Just Souls

What's so strange 
about falling in love with a soul?

She fell in love with his mind 
and ideas
and his kind heart first.
Then, got enamored with his voice.
Then his deep caring for her.
His sensuality, ever present in all their interactions,
finished her off.
Swept her off her feet,
totaly smitten
with everything except his physical.

She had no idea
what he looked like.
She did have a few clues of course.
Still, no expectations.

She knew she'd love his features.
She just knew it.
No two souls can be so infatuated with each other
unless the physical spark is there,
even in its potential form.

But having spent all this time
getting to know him intimately
without even seeing his face
meant that 
his physical form
was imprinted in her subconscious.
His face already sweetly familiar to her heart.

And when he did come along,
her soul exclaimed 
''There you are! I knew it it was you!''

And later on, looking at his picture, she goes
''How perfectly everything about him
matches his physical...''

Bless Overcompensation

She was bound to say it,
sooner or later.

''You remind me of my late father''.

Physical features?
Obviously, few similarities,
apart from the expression on his face.

Here's the most striking similarity:
his blissful calmness.

Just by looking at him,
all her nervous energy calms down to a peaceful halt.

Then, all she ever wants to do
is fall asleep in his arms.

Yes, like a little girl.

Bless overcompensation
and all that psychology jargon.

Some mighty truth in all that stuff...

Wishes

''Make a wish'', she asks him.

''All right''.

''Now, let's blow the candles together.''

So they do.
Blow the two birthday candles simultaneously.
One for him, one for her.
Each standing for a heartfelt longing.

Because time flies.
But loving moments
stay in memory forever...

Just Do That

Fuck the world.

The world is crazy anyway.
Don't pay them any head.

Fuck hard instead

Lingering

It's always like this:

When it's time for her to go,

she won't find it in her heart to leave.

Not that easy, no sir.

Lingering. 

Deliberately taking her time,

getting ready in slow motion mode,

finding excuses to talk about stuff,

prolonging their goodbyes

like a stupid, middle aged Juliet

in the proverbial balcony scene 

with her Romeo.

In the end

he has to fake indignation 

to get her to leave:

''Now, go already! You're expected home...''

So she leaves.

But as soon as she's out of the door

she hurries back yet again

for one last kiss....

The Feast

Relaxed and content, 
holding hands in the dark.

She is outpouring her heart's longings to him.
He is imparting his wealth of knowledge to her.

And once their hearts and minds have had their fill,
their bodies asking for another helping 
of yummy, deliscious, tender lovemaking
yet again.

Because one always goes away
full to the brim
from the feast of one's love.

Both right

''When I come to you, you won't even know it's me'', he said.

They were talking about their first meetup.
First ever.


''Of course I would! The very idea!
My soul would recognise you!
Anywhere! ''

He says nothing. Only chuckles.

It turns out, both of them were actually right......

Sing for him...

In sleep he sang to her
In dreams he came
That voice which calls to her and speaks her name
And does she dream again for now she finds
The Phantom of the Opera is there
Inside her mind


Sing once again with her
Their strange duet
His power over her grows stronger yet
And though she turns from him to glance behind
The Phantom of the Opera is there
Inside her mind.

She is the mask he wears
It's him they hear
His spirit and her voice
Her spirit and his voice 
In one combined
The phantom of the opera is there

Inside her life

The Answer

There comes this inevitable time
when the thought enters her mind:

''Do I really,really, really
wonna be with this man?
Does HE really wanna be with me?''

And she closes her eyes.
And she thinks of him.
And the whole mental screen of her mind
becomes full of stars and stardust.

Then she knows the answer....

First Impressions

-''What was your first impression of me
when you saw me?'', she asks him.

-''Honestly?''
-''Yes.''

-''I thought you were too thin 
back then
and with a drawn out face...
But I was so taken by those eyes of yours,
 they sort of obliterated everything else.
''Those eyes had me...''

Restoring order

Waking up in the middle of the night.

Confused, alone in bed.
The nightmare she's just had 
still lingering in her waking state.

She instinctually roots for him.
She needs him.
It would'n do to call, 
obviously.

She needs to hear his voice.
So she does the obvious thing.
She picks up her smartphone,
feels a bit stupid, but do it she will.


She listens to his voice
for a while,
earphones plugged in her ears,
then she falls asleep.

Her world is back in order again....

Nervous energy

He is calm.

His soothing calmness
-among other things-
attracted her to him 
in the first place.

It reminds her of her father.
His calm ability to listen patiently to her rantings,
remain a rock of stability
for her nervous energy.

But it took her a while to realise
that he, in turn,
thoroughy enjoys her lively spirit,
that overflowing of passion 
that comes out in unexpected moments.

Like,
when she's recounting a story 
of recent arguments with people,
her voice quivering with rage:
''At that moment, I swear 
I could just grab him by his hair
and kick him. Hard. On the face''
or
''I could throw my computer mouse at him
for his sheer stupidity at destorting facts like that''.

He laughs out loud ,
upon hearing her.
He enjoys her passionate ways.
She can tell.

What a glorious feeling
being loved and cherished
for what others used to despise in you...

First Moments

That very first moment.

When she sees him again 
after it's been some time.

First, there's this initial shock.
No better word to describe it.
'Cause his eyes are so intense
that they make her shudder.
Something indescribable about that face
making her shudder with joy.
She is taken aback for a moment,
by those intense dark eyes
fixed on her eyes,
searching her face,
piercing her soul.

You gotta love those eyes.

Then she's overwhelmed with joy:
 ''God, I love the shit outta this man!
And he's here, with me!
And he will be here for sometime!
This is Heavens!''
She throws herself at him
hugging him,
kissing him
melting in his arms.

Yes, she loves him..
But the best part is,
that sweet feeling 
that she is loved back....

Sweet Manifestations

Once upon a time,
long, long time ago,
she wrote down 
on a pink piece of paper
all the qualities 
she 'd want her ideal mate to have.

Details, too.

Like,
''he has to love animals, dogs in particular''.
or
long dark hair please''
and
''be weird himself ,
so that he can appreciate the weird streak in me''
or
''gifted''
( certainly not musically gifted, in case you were wondering),
or even
''he has to be the one to approach me first,''
and
''wants to be with me all the time'',

and much, much more.

Manifestation wasnt instantenous.
Took a few years.
There were detours, too.

But manifested him she did.
And what a manifestation it turned out to be.

Like someone took her initial list
and improved it
beyond even her wildest, teenage dreams
taking her heart's desires into the extreme.

You gotta love this universe
and its sweet manifestations...

Duck Feeding

''He scares me'', she says.

''How can a male duck scare you?'' he asks, laughing.

''He invades my personal space.
Too close to my hands for comfort.
 And that maliscious look in his eye? 
It scares the living shit outta me!'',
 she answers back.

He doesn't seem to mind the duck 
demandind crumbs 
in a passive-aggressive manner.
Animals love him,
naturally gravitate towards him
begging for food,
play or petting.

Attuned to them he is, 
because he knows 
how to love them back.

But she knows his best petting
is kept only for her!

All the way to his heart

Prowling the Internet he was,
looking for fun, looking for love.

Prowling the virtual world,
as others are prowling bars and clubs.
The all-night prowling wolf,
looking for fun, looking for love.

Half bored,
half amused,
the lonely wolf on the prowl.
Looking for fun,
looking for amusement
but really, really, really
unbeknowst even to him,
his soul searching for hers.

His search leading him
all the way to her keyboard,
all the way to her heart,
leading him 
all the way to  h i s  heart.

Miracle

Gently,
ever so gently,
he guided her back to herself.

The curtain of inaction
and apathy
and lost dreams lifted off
from her vision.

Love and sympathy
and hours upon hours of listening
brought about the miracle.

His miracle of love.

For wherever there is enough love,
there are always miracles to be found...

Journal Entry

'

“I could not tell you if I loved you the first moment I heard your voice, or the first time I saw you, if it was the second or third or fourth. But I remember the first moment I looked at you walking toward me and realized that somehow the rest of the world seemed to vanish when I was with you.” 

~ Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince

There is an actual page of her journal that reads:

''Things I appreciate in you''
(besides awesome sex)

-''I like it how you are playful and fun to be around and how you always keep me guessing''.

-''I love it how you urge me to stand on my own two feet, to be strong and independent''

-''I like it how you you guide me with firm love''

-''I love it how you protect me and our relationship,
 thinking for both of us at times''

-''I like it how you keep me down to earth and help me concentrate on what's important''

More and More

Each time he comes to her,
she falls in love with him all over again.

They spent two or three amazing days together
and when he's gone again
she's pining after him 
like a schoolgirl.

Reliving their moments
in every exhilarating detail,
getting horny 
on their steamy lovemaking scenes,
rejoicing on intimacies exchanged,
his every word
engraved in her heart.

That passionate,
frisky feeling
of new love
renewing itself all over again
as if by magic.

Each and every time
feeling more in love with him
than the last time she saw him...

Parting

When it's time to go,
melancholy sets in,
a clenching fist in her chest.

Maybe he feels it too,
but they get busy
getting dressed 
sorting things out,
picking up stuff,
putting out the rubbish
and the pain gets numbed for a while, 
until he locks the door
and off they go
down the stairs.

But on the way down
she always poses
as the parting pain 
is gripping her again,
so she in turn grabs him
and kisses him 
long and hard
there
on the stair landing.

He kisses her
long and hard too
murmuring
'mmmmmmmm'',
as they both comfort each other
with their goodbye kiss.

She tries to concentrate 
on the beauty of the days 
they 've just spent, 
concentrate on the comfort
of the moments they've shared
but the pain is still there.

It's parting time, baby
but my heart never parts with yours.....

Greedy

''You were so hogging the blankets last night!'' 
he tells her over morning coffee.

It's one of the rare,
ever so rare occasions
they can sleep together
the whole night through.

''All of them? Hogging all three of them?''
she asks, laughing.

''All three of them'', 
he says, faking seriousness.
''You had one wrapped around you,
another one you half-snatched away from me
and the last one was all crumbled up
behind you so that I couldn't take it 
without waking you up''.

''You 're making this up!''
she protests, playing along.
''I ain't never done such a thing!''

''You did too, you did too, you did too!
he is laughing that hearty laugh of his.

''You're a greedy little vixen''...

Falling asleep

She had this moment,
her head resting on his chest, 
drinking in his smell,
drunken from his smell,
half asleep,
content and happy.

She felt it
and she knew it was cheesy and melodramatic
but she had to say it
because she damn well felt it
so she had to voice it:

''If I could ever had a choice
I would like to die like this.
In your arms.
You giving me comfort,
easing the transition.
It would be peaceful
and it would drive all fear away''.

She said it.
He said nothing,
listening,
as he always does.
Then she fell asleep in his arms.

Ever so Sweet

Making sweet, sweet love to her
in a way she had never had it before.

Tantalazingly sweet.
Like thick honey 
oozing,
dripping
from every pore of her body.

Until they both melt
into that thick,
golden,
sweet smeling honey
of post-coital bliss

Then,
to restore balance,
teasing her
playfully,
laughingly
faking seriouslness,
keeping her on her toes.

She wouldn't expect anything less from him...

Love of Mine

''Love of mine. ''
''mine. 
''mine.
''mine''.
he texts her.

That awesome man.
Who's been making her
tremble
since the very first moment.

So she texts back:
''You've been making me
tremble
since day one''.

But she bets he already knows..